Give Me Rest

puppies sleep in silky puddles

collapsing in exhausted release

unconcerned abandon often underfoot

trust and assurance a comforting embrace

genetic vigilance tamed

sleep comes easily

we watch, admire

let sleeping dogs lie.

-*-*-*-*

some people

-me-

can be tired but not sleepy

hypervigilant fending off rest

just one more page/game/post/screen

finally prone then sounds call my eyes open

my mind's ears scan for danger

{checks phone one more time}

then falling down down down

through velvet/night/darkness safeguards until

finally

quiet

hypersomnia reigns

and blots out all but dreams

no alarm can wake me

no call bring me back

immobile unreactive

it's not that I don't care

I care too much

aren't we all safely to morning?

fight flight freeze my mind

give me rest

-*-*-*-*-*

Complex Trauma (CPTSD) and Childhood Trauma are strongly corelated to sleep disorders.

Difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, difficulty waking: all can be symptoms of a nervous system that stays on high alert. Subconsciously scanning for harm and remaining prepared for trouble, the body fights sleep and/or doesn't allow restful sleep.

Once asleep and finally entering core and deep sleep, the dysregulation of hormones can make a person immune to even the brightest lights or loudest alarms.