Gemini Twin Revenge

I hated myself as a child;

Grownups said my mind ran wild.

"Living in a fantasy" is what they called it;

The fantasy was better than my reality if they saw it.

Being one way and another and another;

Always crying wanting that hug from my mother.

Daddy said she didn't want to be a mom;

I got older and knew that he was wrong.

Feeling like the odd person in or the even person out;

Head spins so fast, I don't know what it's about.

Wanna go to sleep and never wake up;

Like my reality was in a horrid dream state stuck.

I cried out to God please make him stop;

All the things in my head please make it not.

Trying to fight it off caused my head to convulse;

Swallowing my tongue, shaking with a light pulse.

Wake up confusion, naked in a cold tub;

Couldn't feel pain nor feel love.

Why am I different and why cant I be?

The beautiful young woman people claim to see.

She died that night and I grew in her place;

Different inside, different mind but with the same face.

It wasn't until I turned 40 that I could understand;

That was the beginning to a sad ugly end.