gates

Is this how it starts? Insecurities on display? Vulnerability as just a natural side effect? Constant overthinking about the tiniest thing? All because I want to impress you because your opinion is the only one that will ever truly matter.

Can we talk about this?

This drawing I feel.

A hidden inclination to want to always be around you. Attraction at its best! Atoms lost at the beginning of time finally reconnect as the stars all align. This is no match made in heaven, just a constant unbalance of me missing you when you haven't gone and you missing me after I've stopped wanting you as I do right now…. Love isn't all ripe cherries and rich chocolates. It leaves pieces of people hanging on. we could run around in this circle for the rest of our lives. I'm not sure how long I can chase you knowing that if I stopped- whoa, what a wild idea. If I stopped… Would love just fall? Could I end this? Would you somehow manage to come back to me? Do we go on like this? In our own circle?

I know you feel something. I know who you are. Behind those tired eyes, I see it. Your pain is my pain. I've warmly accepted that, but I need you to sit down with me, to truly listen to me, and to just acknowledge the fact that I am dedicated to you and your needs and no matter how hard I resist it, I simply just cannot turn away from you. I hold you on a pedestal. I prepare myself to be there! Right by your side! your right fuckin hand-Jesus Christ how can anyone dismiss a burden so heavy and humbling such as this euphoric one?! I can't claim love yet because I'm bound and that spell can only be broken if you make that choice to do so.

I've never thought that I'd find someone like you. A version of you that I've daydreamed of many times before. This you is the same you that I needed every time I'd feel my eyes sting as I held back tears welling up. The pain in the pot boiling over. A version of you, that I actually need in my support system because all I want are those positive vibes engulfing me.

Next to you, I become fragile and if you broke me, it would be the greatest privilege. Love is sick…ain't it?

Next to you, you open up your own universe to me before my very eyes and I marvel at your prowess. It refreshes my soul to see your eyes light up with a glowing glint of passion that I've never seen activated in a human before. And that smile. When you smile you set your halo ablaze and your colors splash all over until they find order on a canvas you've been working on for so long- man, you've done my head in real good. BASHED my brains about and you don't even know you're a killer- but even if you were…. just that, a killer- I wouldn't tell a soul.

Madness in this happiness is outta control.

I could do so much for you, and as we grow together you'll see, but the choice has to be yours. I'm only on the cusp waiting for you to say the word!

I am. I promise you I Promise I Promise I Promise and I won't break it… Give me an inch and baby I'll take you to the moon!

I've cleared up so much room in my heart enough for eternity just for you but as time ticks away please darling, please don't leave me here standing caged behind the gates of this heart.

Let me in because you are seen. Let me know, so I can fly with you or fly far away, alone.

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