Gasping Singularity

Am I therefore?

Between the skin and air

Did I build lights within?

Visions of a different song

Haunted by what I once was

New walls still have the same whispers

I hang my hands over my face

I don’t feel the tracings of scars

Yet I bleed, I still tear up

I’ve seen time and time again a lamb

Wandering into a grave

Climbing slowly upwards anywhere

about to sky dive

Thinking it will fly

Instead,

this sheep will pummel through the clouds

It wasn’t afraid

Well not anymore, not after a thousand times

As it bounce out of the grave

every time it shakes its bones and wishing for stars

forgetting freedom and letting reality sink in

With every sunlight that hits my eyes

And there is people, humans

Even the ones that care

Watching, Cheering, and Praying every time

for my own soul to break through with suffering

Romanticizing my pain and blood

I found myself convinced by them

At night, I followed their voices and into the edges of my house

Other times I was surviving on the ideal of it all

Running around midday finding items, holding them,

and kissing my hands as tears poured

Because many will get the image of me in those frames, they place me in

But never the actual picture of me and the reality I have

Even when it's painted, drawn, and written with every part of me

Yet all they saw were stains and lies

I began to wipe away at this mirror

And saw nothing else in me and others

I felt cracks, small intents of colors faded now.

Terror filled

Holding onto my shoulders,

What have I done?

Was it better?

Yet in every dream I knew

a way to push away the attention of humans

and I was full of joy

I was too late.