from Victim to Survivor

I was never young

Came onto the earth, tense and warm as an

unshot gun

Held the wrinkles and age spots of an old soul since the first man

decided to

Lay hands

So when the next took it upon himself to

Lay hands

I grew faster, but not from youth.

from adulthood to skeletonhood

I was never young

Felt the fear and the shame of a woman undone

Knew that ancient feminine survival from the women before me

So when those towering men lay their hands, blood slick on their palms,

And pressed against my life lines like an old coven’s dance

I knew the bloody ritual deep in genetic trauma

And absorbed the bloody sacrifice until it formed her

So the blood dries on me and the men, they’re free

Of memory and of guilt and of culpability

I am of what is left behind

Grievous childhood decomposes at the back of my mind

But I know the strength of witches long dead

And I am the resurrection dripping in red

I was never young

my dewey youth is long faded as the set of the sun

drowns the sky into dark blue from white

But the birds sing at dusk,

and the bats fly at night

the hour brings the darkness and the darkness brings the stars

and in this mellow hue I cannot see my scars

I was never young, not as the baby cries or the flower blooms

and in my girlish body is more than wrinkled old age

its the knowledge and the knowing of the female rage

this is a warning, for my death comes soon

and from my shallow grave , I'll rise from the dust

With the light of the moon.