From stranger to stranger again

You met me at the worst point of my life

I was a chronic liar and a pyro and a little bit of an addict

You were a church girl, perfect and blonde and better than me

Called yourself savior

From stranger to messiah

Taking time to take out your internal biases on my external comfort

To be fair it was a little bit of the “pray the gay away” virius that was in the air

But a lot of it had to do with y o u

I could see your guilty nitpicking was more your shame of yourself

My freedom of voice was enough to hide your chained choice

Who was I to judge

You did enough judging for the both of us

I was a peacemaker

Maybe that was my fault

The way I bent my boundaries in on myself so that they could accommodate you

We were friends, besties

My mom used to think we were lovers

How ridiculous

Not really that ridiculous if you think hard about it.

You showed me Friends and told me how we'd be that for each other

when another boy had crushed my dreams of love

you told me we'd grow old together

live in a cottage until we were old and grey

get buried next to each other

nothings says codependent more than always crying on your shoulder

but you could never love me that way

So every boy every person who wouldn't love you

I was the perfect solution

you got to know what it was like to be loved by them

I got to know what it was like to be loved by you through them

it was a fucked up cycle we made

Then one time it went sour

As was bound to happen

but it didn't go sideways the way you thought

I was quiet

It was being in a car crash in slow motion

Or more accurately

Watching a murder in an alley

All I wanted was to scream for you

Maybe that would have gotten your attention

He drove us to my house like always

For the first time ever

You didn't stay with me

you left me on my doorstep

Giddily getting into the car where I was violated

That was the first time I cut you off

We didn't talk for weeks

I moved seats

I ignored your texts and calls

I called out of every shift

I almost quit

So I could stop seeing you

Until I got lonely

I wanted to be comfortable

So I drove to your house and laid on your couch

Peach creme slush melting on the counter

You came in laughing

It was as if you never noticed I was gone

You probably didn't

You ruined lavender and honey ice cream for me

You ruined animal crossing

You wrecked so many safe places

All my comforts gone

Because you couldn’t stop inserting yourself everywhere

Maybe that was my bad

I did invite you in the first time

and the second

and the third

and this time

So when I fade into the background

Stop trying to get me to come back

You already ruined care for me

Maybe I should work on my no

It's always been hard for me

But I assume it'll be more like a bee sting this time

I'll sting you and then i'll die

or rather kill the me that always comes back to you

They've never served me anyway

We'll go back to being strangers

As we should've stayed