Fraying

You say 'forever' but it doesn't sound like it used to

We hold on to a fraying thread

I'm terrified of it snapping, yet hoping it will

We used to weave eternities but now

I start to wonder what life might

Look like without you

❀

I owe you a million things but

Now they're just a weight on my shoulders

I've resurrected a thousand times

But it's getting old and

I'm not sure I'll be able to

Climb out of this grave

You're digging for me

❀

I'm suffocating and you're

Sighing at the sight of it

I'm collapsing and you're

Stepping over my body

❀

I try not to hold resentment like a grudge

But you're promising you care even as

You slip poison in my drink

I beg for the past in every breath

Bear my sadness in the hesitation

Before each smile

I was coughing up blood

And you were swearing

We were fine

❀

I'm lynched by regret

Impaled with this plot twist

I'm so sorry I have a heart that is

Not immune to your knife

Now you're packing your bags

And I'm hoping you’ll miss me

❀

I'm closing my eyes

And you're rolling yours

I'm flatlining and you're

Turning off the life support

❀

How long before the thread snapped?

How long could we fence-sit before it broke beneath us?

I gift-wrapped my whole heart, gave you my entirety

And all I did was fall as I tried to climb that cliff for you

Brought you bandages and you

Soaked them in gasoline

I wouldn't stay for me either

A jigsaw unable to stay in one piece

A spool of wool unravelling

And I only wanted to be enough for you

And I'm evaporating as I scream

❀

"Give me something worth holding onto"

"Give me one thing that resembles hope"

"Give me answers, give me an apology"

All I have left is self-contemptuous tears

❀

They're lowering me into the ground

And you don't even stay for the eulogy

❀❀❀❀❀

The Inspiration:

Author’s Note: I’m finally doing good but still channeling the old hurt into poetry. The urge to write about this topic is fading now though and I think that’s a good thing.