Finding the gem within

For most of my life I believed I wasn’t enough , I wasn’t good enough I wasn’t smart enough , I wasn’t acceptable enough, I wasn’t worthy enough for so many things . The reasons don’t matter what matters is changing the perception of self seeing through a different lens.

Finding the facets the multilayers of you.

I have over the past few years dived deep into myself, looking at my shadow beliefs, looking at what I believe to be true for me. And this is what I see.

Many nights as I lay awake dreaming of peace and calm within

Dreaming of acceptance and being enough

I watched the shadows scuttle through

Always dancing never still

They dance to a different tune a discordant one of self loathing, distrust the colour deep indigo blue

Sometimes the heart would show a shadow substance of dark liquid green swirling dancing full of praise

Praise for the distortion of the night.

Praise for seeing the glimpses of flight

Sitting deeply in this space I learned to watch listen and navigate

Sometimes the shadow would be washed out pinks and blues

Others times the self-loathing a deep velvet blue

Enticing and calling to be beautiful and new

Many times, the shadows reigned

They sat in their golds and sovereignty

But one night as I watched I began to see a thread of discordant dark grey

A theme of a flat life

A theme of existing and not being heard

The words began to flow

The expressions of life ‘

The expressions not spoken for ever and a time

These words tumbled out

Who knew they could speak the truth

The Golden light flowed as the words began to renew

Vibrant words and feeling felt

Fell quietly and stealthily on to the page

That night the rainbow colours and all the shades and hues began to swirl and make life a feeling of brand new

This journey happened with one tiny little slip

A slip of allowing something beautiful to come through

On the nights that followed as the words began to flow each night a new theme

A new light to glow

First the pinks everything from the heart

Then the oranges and reds the fire of passion that shone out to glow

The blues awakened a subtle hue of deep night

The greens awakening the healing flight

The yellows and golds bringing home their truth of it all

The soul is a many faceted diamond and gemstone coloured in many rainbows