For most of my life I believed I wasn’t enough , I wasn’t good enough I wasn’t smart enough , I wasn’t acceptable enough, I wasn’t worthy enough for so many things . The reasons don’t matter what matters is changing the perception of self seeing through a different lens.
Finding the facets the multilayers of you.
I have over the past few years dived deep into myself, looking at my shadow beliefs, looking at what I believe to be true for me. And this is what I see.
Many nights as I lay awake dreaming of peace and calm within
Dreaming of acceptance and being enough
I watched the shadows scuttle through
Always dancing never still
They dance to a different tune a discordant one of self loathing, distrust the colour deep indigo blue
Sometimes the heart would show a shadow substance of dark liquid green swirling dancing full of praise
Praise for the distortion of the night.
Praise for seeing the glimpses of flight
Sitting deeply in this space I learned to watch listen and navigate
Sometimes the shadow would be washed out pinks and blues
Others times the self-loathing a deep velvet blue
Enticing and calling to be beautiful and new
Many times, the shadows reigned
They sat in their golds and sovereignty
But one night as I watched I began to see a thread of discordant dark grey
A theme of a flat life
A theme of existing and not being heard
The words began to flow
The expressions of life ‘
The expressions not spoken for ever and a time
These words tumbled out
Who knew they could speak the truth
The Golden light flowed as the words began to renew
Vibrant words and feeling felt
Fell quietly and stealthily on to the page
That night the rainbow colours and all the shades and hues began to swirl and make life a feeling of brand new
This journey happened with one tiny little slip
A slip of allowing something beautiful to come through
On the nights that followed as the words began to flow each night a new theme
A new light to glow
First the pinks everything from the heart
Then the oranges and reds the fire of passion that shone out to glow
The blues awakened a subtle hue of deep night
The greens awakening the healing flight
The yellows and golds bringing home their truth of it all
The soul is a many faceted diamond and gemstone coloured in many rainbows
About the Creator
I am a lover of the mystical the magical and the spiritual.
I write to heal myself and to share my journey with anxiety and life that I experience through my feelings.
I love to write it is my healing place.