FIGHT

It's been a long, hard, life.

Relationship after relationship, and they've all brought strife.

Been beat down so much, that it's hard to fight.
But I must keep going.

Why is it that he's never loved me?
Well that he has changed, but the me hasn't ,

And the love, well, it's never been there.
Just used and abused by people who really didn't care.

So many nights I've laid up wondering why life isn't fair?

For some of us the pain runs so deep, that we start to lose our hair.
Tick tock tick tock the wheels in my brain keep turning.
Wondering why I got pushed out into life and it keeps on burning.

I hold tight to my confidence.

But it's almost like I went through some sort of identity theft in a sense.

Time hurts, unwind only frustrates

Afraid of new relationships, because they fuel my self-hate.

Virginity lost, but I don't even know date.

As long as I'm alone the pain does not feel like a suffocate.

Trapped inside the Insane Clown show in my head.

Try to organize my thoughts before I go to bed.

Nightmares on the regular, to go to sleep. I'm scared.

Just waiting for the Lord to come and lift me in the air.

I used to have no hope. At least for now that's changed. .

I changed what I believe as of late haven't felt the same.

But it's still hard each and every day.

I wake up, put on my mask, and push through all my days.

It may be hard for the rest of life. Don't care hat no one says.

Well days are not that hard as long as I don’t stray, let me rephrase.

Don't want to convey the wrong message, but I definitely want to get out the pain.

The best thing I can find to do is write; so I’m writing for my life

people look at me crazy when I Scream & Shout but I do it to keep from crying

It's like I put down a ton of bricks when I vent.

I’m learning to settle for what I have right now is what is meant.

Sometimes my lips move, but nothing comes out.

Abandonment frustrates my brain, it makes me doubt any new interaction.

Sometimes I have panic attacks, but nowadays I choose to breathe it out.

Everyday, I feel my confidence building up in style.

Can't say I'm disappointed, because I've been waiting for a while.

It's a relief.

I suffer from a lot, but now I am Survivor.

No longer play the victim, now I get up cause I’m a fighter !