Felicity

Where have you gone

I no longer feel you here

You used to live inside me

My heart, my shadow, my mirror

Now the memory of you

Is a ghost in my mainframe

Were you ever really here

Or a figment of my braingame

These mental Olympics

That I’m destined to lose

Because I’m playing myself

In a game with no rules

Why did you leave me

Without a warning or wave

Abandoned and lonely

In a world painted grey

There’s no color without you

It’s all the same hue

Dark and depressing

A miserable view

Black clouds blot my sky

As I sail through the storm

In a boat made of paper

To perilous shores

When you were still with me

I could see through these rains

But now when it pours

I get stuck in the stormdrains

Like a leaf in the wind

That’s been shed and forgotten

I’ve been forsaken

In this rain gutter rotting

Wasting away

Turning slowly to dust

In this stage of decay

My tears turn to rust

Sometimes I still see you

In the lines on my face

A glimpse here and there

Where you left a small trace

A cruel, cold reminder

That you used to be with me

Until without any reason

You began to forget me

Now years have passed

Will I ever hold you again

Or will you stay out of touch

Like a fairweather friend

Only here when I’m fine

Which is so seldom lately

And nowhere to find

When I need you to save me

I wish you didn’t go

I hoped that we’d stick together

And hold each other close

To the ends of forever

But you left me to face

This cruel world on my own

And learn the hard way that

No place feels like home

I just want you back

Please, if you still exist

Come back to me soon

My bygone happiness