Feelings to Words: An Expression of Pain

I don't know what happened to me.

I used to be so free and happy.

Now I'm just alone and feeling crappy.

As life went on,

They all vanished;

They've got their lives, from which I'm banished.

Isn't it funny,

When you're always there for them; now noones there for you?

Speak to me!

Why do I deserve this?

What the fuck did I do?

I've nothing left but, to sit in darkness

Tired and weak,

I'm freezing I'm sore like my cold cut wrists bitch.

There's no agenda,

Just some unfinished business.

To take the pain away, or maybe even add to it.

I just want, to feel something

Anything,

Rather than unwanted and neglected.

Walking through this life alone,

When it's done; you'll be glued to your phone,

Writing words as if you cared

Of fake condolences and memories shared.

If you can't love me now,

Don't bring your tears to my grave.

To go through what I've been through,

I've had to be brave;

It's not death I seek, but love that I crave.

I want to be wanted,

Not pittied upon;

You could have done something,

But it's too late.

I'm done.

I'm gone.

Maccy Jay Tovey

25/01/2018