Feeling her absence

Looped up on cold meds

I am stuffier than a motherfucker

And just as sweaty

I’ve been this tortured before

Once

When I was visiting the mosquitos and the frogs down in Florida

My dad’s trailer lost AC

I sat melting on a plastic chair

Like a chunk of beef tallow

Crackling in a pan and throwing up smoke

Striving to thrive, barely managing to wallow

All I could do was burgle a cold lil sumthin from a Florida Man’s icebox

A healthy stealthy handful of freezer burned berries

Then I splashed my face with water from the sink

Well that well smelled downright biblical

Sulfur and stink

Poured forth from hell and from faucet,

But atleast it was cold

For 1 picosecond

Dripping and smelling like eggs, I ate a banana

Sweat stung my sight

I toweled off my lashes and set the peel aside

It shriveled and coiled before my very eyes

Now here I am

Alone

In “Swelter Weather: The Sequel”

Meds + exhaustion + heat

You know what that equals?

I’m wilting in real time

I am nothing but an empty peel

Alone and tired

But the night owl in me ruffles its feathers

He’s hooting like a goddamn fool:

“Not yet.”

So here I am

Up late again

Trying to sleep

Only half way there

One foot out and every inch in

I tread those darkened waters where each sin begins

Here in the twilight, lying in bed

There’s a pretty song and its stuck in my head

If melted ice cream had a voice

I would listen— no other choice

I’d bend my ear to the melody of silk

Sweeter than honey

Richer than milk

But such a sticky-hot tragedy!

Cause

She’s having the worst luck on tinder

And I’d like to help her out

Is it the Benadryl talking—

Or maybe just thirst

But I really would leap head first

Yes, I am down

I’ll swim till I drown

I wouldn’t need air underneath her,

I would just breath her

But…. dream girl left dreamville

So lemme get real:

Her absence

Is

Driving

Me

CRAZY

Even Bill Nye cant make it make sense

I mean how can I need somebody

That I’ve never ever met?

That’s messed up,

Right?

To find my self in worship of the top shelf?

Ain’t that some shit

She can’t possibly know or care whether or how I fare

… Well

Actually, fuck farewells!

She’s capital F Fine

Her songs soak my mind like a full-bodied wine

But I’d be even drunker if I could just drink her

Bruh

The fact I’m not making her bed quake gives me a headache

The way she sings, has got my hard heart and other hard parts on a string

It’s her neo-soul

She’s living art with a pulse and a glow

Truth:

If I ever met her I wouldn’t be star struck

Hell no!

I’d simply be speechless

Gobsmacked

I’d

Just

Faint

Cuz she is every-damn-thang

Except mine

she isn’t mine at all

Still!

It’s a wild comfort to be in the same universe

Breathing and bleeding on this same earth

As such a fine and spicy baby

And damn!

Somebody ask The Science Guy: why tf am I still awake

Hours gone to waste

Dreaming a meal that I’ll never taste!

I flip the pillow to the cool side

But thats no better

I’ve merely swapped a lot of Jekyll for a little Hyde

In this goddamn swelter-weather

So I curl in on myself

Like an over-ripe peel

Drifting in its own ethylene feels

Ari Playlist, in order: