Feeling

Please tell me what this feeling is.

You are happy but there is still a melancholy.

A yearning for something that won’t grab your hand when you reach out. It’s a bittersweet pain, one that you somehow don’t want to end.

But you must. It’s that process. The process of finding… you.

Lose whatever negative claw it is that has its grasp on you, pull your way to something magnificent.

You’ve admitted to a big feeling. But the result is not what you expected. So you feel the melancholy.

Maybe you were expecting better, expecting more.

The tears are just there, waiting to pour out like a torrential rain. You seem to be waiting for the ultimate climax of your melancholy.

But you don’t even know what it is. It’s not quite pain, not quite euphoria. You exist in the moment of a feeling that won’t be.

When will you show what this is? Because you know I cannot cry, you won’t let me. Cry. Or laugh. Hurry. Pull me out of this moment.