Feel This

Why do people feel the need to try and use me like a garbage disposal? I am not anyone's trash man nor will I be anyone's final closure.

The days of sitting back being the quiet nice guy are completely over, instead from here on out it is back to the old me, the scary soldier.

The one that is pegged when the job is too much for anyone else, when the only one for the duty must have balls everyone has felt.

No not in any sexual way at all more like the balls everyone wish they had, especially the ones to scared to do dirt themselves fronting like thay bad.

You know the type I mean, ones so fake that Ray Charles can see, act like they gangsters but as soft as the alter boys from any church from history.

Fact is that has never been me and not starting now, replaced with all the stories people have heard live in living color from here on out.

For far too long I have just sat back playing the game not to win, just surviving while constantly worrying about ending up in the pen.

If you knew me as a teenager you would not believe how I am, probably wonder if they found a clone to act like me for all man.

I will admit even when young I always had something most thugs did not, a conscience, making my lifestyle different and hard to remain consistent and constant.

Try to imagine how hard it is to be hard if you question your every move, my best trait was I never showed it while always remaining smooth.

But trust me, I have had so so many sleepless nights, starting in my pre teen as if only my conscience had all the rights.

Yet let's be real, qho can you turn to if you have feelings or thoughts like that? In my world being soft can lead to your head meeting an aluminum baseball bat.

No matter who you are, how much respect you have earned, one slip up is enough to lead to your death at any turn.

Even an O.G. can lose it all in one full fair swoop, going from King Gangster to the crack head always on the block's stoop.