Feel

My face is the beautiful canvas that has the sweet nothings painted across. I look in this mirror and all I see is a bright soul inside of a skinned veil. The beauty in this is you see me as way more. You see the curve in my walk, I don’t. You hear the tone, and ring to my voice; I don’t. You feel my energy more powerfully than you feel your own. And I can say the same about you. I see the power in your heart, I feel the weight of your energy. I see you too, just maybe in a different way. This is the beauty of life, this is the magic we hold. We can dance under the stars and it can teach us how enjoyable it is to stay in the moment. Do not think about what will happen next. It hurts too much, it steals the joy of forever, of long term. Because nothing’s promised, and nothing lasts forever. But at least I can have this moment with you, now. Maybe forever in my own way, forever is what we all say. When we know it’s all not true, but maybe we have no proof. We may lose each other everyday, but we’re all a part of the same wave. So maybe we’re always together in some way. I’m sure we’ve felt the same joy before but in our own way. I’m sure we’ve felt the same pain; of course it was in our own way. We’re in this together spiritually, maybe not always physically but that’s okay. You’re not here with me today, but I still remember how you used to lay. I remember the way your lips tasted, I remember feeling like my love was wasted. I know now I had to face it, I had to feel like complete shit. You showed me I deserve better. You are the road that led me to myself, you are the inspiration to most of what I say. You’ve taught me how to be me. I’ve never been simple but I’m who I want to be. I've been cut off, and I had to regrow my confidence. I’ve been used for someone’s foundation, but I’ve grown stronger; exactly like a tree. Some people didn’t appreciate my roots, they would take my branches and they would take my leaves. They would never try to nurture me. So just like a tree I now surrender to nature; I’ve learned what will flow, will flow and what will crash, will crash. I have released everything I have no control over and I’ve taken on the challenge of simply being. Simply loving what is in front of me; when uncomfortable circumstances appear I let them make me feel uncomfortable. I move on with a smile on my face, and a bawled fist just in case. I’ll let everyone feel my wrath, I’ll fight until my very last breath. I’ll laugh when I want to laugh; I’ll cry when I want to cry. I’ll be who I am until the day I die. I won’t let your judgments affect me; you setting limitations on me only affects who you’re going to be. It can’t touch me, it can’t crucify me. For your thoughts are yours and my thoughts are mine. I’ve always had happiness, I’ve always been kind. There’s nothing to find and there’s so much to feel. Why don’t you heal? Why don’t you analyze why you want to change me and figure out what’s the appeal? Why do you care about what I do? What do you have to lose? In a world where everything is borrowed and there’s no such thing as tomorrow. There’s only now, so why don’t you fill your days with love instead of frowns. I’m in this big sea full of entitled beings, sometimes I feel like I’m going to sink and drown. But then I realize I have a choice to flow, I have a choice to gracefully glide across this sea with pure trust. Trust that even your words and the things that you believe mean something to me. Oh, lord how I wish I could attract someone just like me. There’s no such thing, not because others aren’t like me but because I will never see it that way. I’ll always find the difference between you and I, even though there’s plenty of similarities. This is how the ego lies. You can be staring at a spitting image of you but all you’d be able to see is the opposed characteristics. And then maybe you’d realize later how your mind was playing tricks. How most of the time when you are upset with someone’s attitude it’s only because that attitude is deep within you too. You and I are one in the same, there’s no one to blame. We can only look within, this is how we understand our experiences. Every time something terrible happens to you it’s only because there’s something traumatic within you. When you start to heal you realize other people’s actions towards you shouldn’t define your character. We’re just water sulking up our environment, but we can also be the purifier. Being angry is beautiful because it shows your passion for a situation; sadness is amazing because it teaches you how to truly feel. Happiness is overrated because it makes us believe we have to search. Happiness taught me that everything is temporary; happiness can last a lifetime as long as you feel your sadness. As long as you express your rage in a healthy way, let your emotions flow because if you don’t they won’t go. Instead they’ll get stuck in your body and they’ll build a home. It’ll grow depression in its backyard, it’ll hang insecurities like Christmas lights on the inside and on the outside. It’ll bask in self-doubt; all because you didn’t want to feel your emotions. Don’t let people tell you that crying is a weakness, they’re not as strong as you think. Strength is facing your emotions with an open heart, strength is loving yourself when it seems like no one else does. Strength is celebrating your small wins even when no one else notices. Be strong for yourself, love yourself and praise yourself because no one else will.