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Feeding the Little Green Man

In which I seek to comfort a newcomer.

By J. Otis HaasPublished 8 months ago Updated 8 months ago 4 min read
Runner-Up in Extraterrestrial Challenge
Feeding the Little Green Man
Photo by Aldebaran S on Unsplash

When the little green man came from the sky

I thought, at first, we were all going to die.

I hoped he’d say “I come in peace.”

Instead he said, “I’ve lost my lease.

Galactic rents are quite unfair,

I need somewhere I can breathe the air.

I’ve lost my job, for what it’s worth,

And thought I might check out this Earth.

All the water is quite a bonus,

Though no virillium will be an onus,

There is abundant nitrogen.

Do you mind if I come in?”


As I invited him into my home

He paused and smashed my garden gnome.

“Pardon me,” he said, “I thought the creature was real.

I am quite hungry and could use a meal.”

I fancy myself a decent cook,

And so I thought I’d take a look

And see what dishes I might make.

Perhaps I’d even bake a cake.


He went to the table and took a seat.

I asked him what he liked to eat.

He said, “Anything but protein blocks.”

As I rifled through my pantry stocks.

I fed him rice, beans, grapes, and kale

And watched in awe as he did inhale

Every morsel that I plated,

It seemed he would not soon be sated.

I brought out ham, eggs, cheese, and corn

And asked about where he was born.

“A huge red planet that is a station

Of an intergalactic federation.”


I said, “Your people must be wise.”

But he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Compared to you we might seem advanced,

With warp-speed drives and genomes enhanced.

However,” he went on to add,

Our situation is rather sad.

Our leaders are a greedy lot

And with much pain our lives are fraught.

Our resources are all running dry,

We even managed to burn our sky.

It’s very hard to find good work,

And our ruler is a colossal jerk.

Virillium is now quite expensive,

And poverty has become extensive.

I can barely afford to fill my ship,

Which is why I embarked upon this trip.

I need a place to call my own.

I owe unpaid taxes and a defaulted loan.

I will admit I’m on the run,

And so I fled to your yellow sun.

We fight in wars for no good reason,

But to question why is seen as treason.

My people exist under crushing weight

Put on them by the galactic state.

It’s even worse than I’ve said so far,

Around that distant white-dwarf star.

Our ships, you see, are made by slaves,

Who toil in dark and smoky caves.

It is uncouth to say that, though,

And most pretend they do not know.

Speaking up can be unwise,

As we’re surrounded by prying eyes.

They say it’s all to maintain order.

Or stave off crisis at our border

With the Dark Matter Empire.

As they deny the sky’s on fire.

We recently had an awful plague,

May I please have that turkey leg?

It seems that we won’t soon recover,

I’m sad to say I lost my mother.

I was the last of her eggs to hatch,

And with lowly status could find no match.

We were close, my Mom and I,

Please tell me why she had to die.

I pray in search of The MegaSoul,

But only seem to find a hole.

My faith once filled the void inside,

Alas, that, too, must’ve died.”


He took a pause then from his eating,

The oven dinged, done preheating.

Across his face despair did creep.

The little green man began to weep.

He cried and cried ‘til he was dry.

I didn’t have to ask him why.

When, finally, he stopped his wail,

He asked me for a lobster tail.

With butter running down his chin,

I did detect a tiny grin.

Then he spoke again, with glee,

A secret he would share with me.

He scooped up some Basmati rice,

And whispered of his tracking device.

Which he had managed to disable.

He smiled wide and slapped the table.

“I must admit that alas,

As you say, my ship’s ‘out of gas.’

It’s safe to say they won’t find me,

Until they make Earth a colony.

I like it here, I’m glad to say.

I do believe that I shall stay.

I like the food and sky so blue,

I would be happy to live with you.”


I found myself taken aback.

He asked me where we keep the snacks.

This isn't something to expect,

Yet, I simply could not object.

Both gloves he stripped, and then each boot,

And shrugged out of his silv’ry suit.

“Make yourself at home,” I said

As he bit into a loaf of bread.

Then he asked if I would mind

If he asked some questions about my kind.

He knew so little of our planet,

While scooping out a pomegranate.

Is it difficult to get uranium?

Is it safe to eat this geranium?

Just how deep is the sea?

Are all Earthlings as nice as me?


This gave me pause, I must admit.

And I wondered how to put it:

That greedy brutes also ruled here

And many people live in fear.

It was hard, but I did not lie,

And as I finished I heard him sigh.

He said the Earth would have to do

And tucked into a bowl of stew.

social commentary

About the Creator

J. Otis Haas

Space Case

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Comments (8)

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  • Michèle Nardelli7 months ago

    Super cute - I feel something for this alien - congrats on the win

  • Babs Iverson7 months ago


  • Addison M7 months ago

    Excellent mix of social bite and whimsical wordplay. Well done!

  • Cathy holmes7 months ago

    Very nicely done. Congrats

  • Alison McBain7 months ago

    Hilarious and also great social commentary at the same time. Nicely done!

  • Awww, he started to cry. That was so sad. My favourites part was when he smashed the garden gnone, lol!

  • Hilarious and Genius 😉👍📝❤️👌Great Job❗

  • Alex H Mittelman 8 months ago

    Fantastic poem!

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