I was a fat girl.
Not the funny, quirky one you see in movies
who is average size in baggy clothes.
Actually fat.
They called me “fatty” and “chubbs.”
My brother still does sometimes.
In fourth grade, we read Blubber out loud.
It almost made me hate books when the cute boys
decided my new nickname.
Thighs that chafed until they bled.
Clothes always too snug.
Walking meant pain.
Breathing meant effort.
I haven’t been overweight in years.
But sometimes I still glance at my plate of food,
worry someone will comment on how much or what I eat.
I sneak bites, nervous that eyes are judging what goes into my mouth.
The names from childhood—
“Fatty. Chubbs. Blubber.”—
still taunt me when I glance in a mirror,
when I try on clothes in a dressing room,
when I step on a scale.
That girl hasn’t been seen in a long time,
but I still carry the weight of her with me.
And sometimes?
She orders a Quarter Pounder with extra pickles
and an M&M McFlurry,
finishing it in the car before I get home.
About the Creator
Tina D. Lopez
Finally realizing I need to start acting like the main character in my own life. Writing helps me figure out where I keep losing the plot and giving away my spotlight. My story is a big mix of drama, comedy, tragedy, thriller, and, horror.
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