F*** The Writing Challenge

Stream of consciousness huh?

So what even is that?

I guess I just follow my thoughts (just go with it)...

Well this will be fun...

Ahh it feels good to be walking out here (ugh, eyeroll), I always feel better when I'm free and walking (lame!) with no kids no guy no ties to anything or anyone its kind of cold out here (who cares) I'm glad I wore my cardigan....wait nobody wants to read about that! (exactly!) well but that's my stream of consciousness sooo....(ya, and?) But what am I doing here anyways, look at all these people walking by, what is this why am I doing this, is this what life is all about? Seems I always wonder that.....(shut up and keep going.)

I need experiences! Maybe I should move far away but where? Anywhere? what if I left my family and friends and children? (tisk, tisk) Do I want that? Sometimes yeah. (live and let live) Live and let live.

I want love (barf). He doesn't love me and I don't care for any love if its not his, I think he loves me I'm probably delusional (definitely delusional) I know I can be intense sometimes but maybe not intense enough. (move on already!) how?...There was that time I wrote a poem (well that was random) I thought it was stupid and it was praised as an example instead and I was so proud.....I guess I'm awesome we are always more awesome than we think right?... maybe (you are) I hope so. I could be a writer I wanna be a dancer I should go to university but I don't want a degree and universities are so pretentious maybe a porn star I wanna try everything but when and how and with what time and what money?! ha! as if, whatever I don't even know ok pay attention....Stream of consciousness....But it doesn't need to be structured, right? Like life doesn't need to be structured oh this is so freeing! (definitely freeing) But how the hell do I follow all these thoughts anyways they're too fast! (you don't)....I just cut a stroller off I hope that didn't seem rude but why do I care, but I should care, but I don't (your a terrible person) oh well.

This is stupid they'll think its stupid (sure will) but I'm only being authentic, people say they want authentic until your authentic and then they don't, then they roll their eyes and its oversharing or annoying or your dumb. whatever. I shouldn't care. I wont care. ( Don't care) I think this guy in front of me is checking me out (yeah right) I should flirt back (good luck). I could use the distraction maybe he is the one (more delusions) but wait I'm feeling loyal to someone that doesn't even see me. Idiot....him and me. (just him) (just me). This is stupid everything is so stupid maybe I'm crazy definitely crazy. Tell me I'm not the only one I know I'm not the only one! We are only human! Fuck this stupid writing challenge!