Expecting

The moon shines brightly above, 


A silver coin in the sky. 


In me, a small life grows,


Shifting with the moonrise. 



.

Sleep does not come easily. 


Each time I begin to doze, 


Images flash behind my eyes, 


Just minutes after they close.



.

They range from silly to terrifying,


My fears manifesting as dreams, 


From eating foods I should not eat, 


To coming apart at the seams. 



.

One night I dreamed such terrors, 


Of birth and hospitals and black veins. 


Which climbed eerily across my chest,


Although I felt no pain. 



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I tried to find someone to help me, 


Carrying my little one around, 


But no one could understand me, 


As if I weren’t making a sound. 



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I soon realized my husband was gone, 


And as I checked my phone,


Each photo of us disappeared, 


And I realized I was alone. 



.

My memories disappeared too, 


And I couldn’t remember the birth. 


Though I held the baby in my arms,


I collapsed crying to the earth. 



.

As I sobbed on the floor of the hospital, 


I slowly began to come to. 


I was in my bed in my bedroom, 


And the sky was lightening to blue.



.

My husband slept soundly beside me, 


And the birds were beginning to tweet. 


As I closed my eyes to sleep once more, 


I felt my baby kick its little feet.