Existential Prison

Existential Prison

I sit here every day

In my own private autonomic cell.

It’s invisible except to those that

Have also freed themselves from hell.

It’s dressed in skin, muscle, blood,

And basic organs I need to contain and sustain

This miserable flood.

I haven’t been able to break free or

See a way out….until now.

The terror of being away from this putrid

Home I have survived for decades is crippling.

I fight the urge daily to ignore

The tunnel of light growing ever dwindling.

My face has now felt the light and

Tasted the sweet breeze of ecstasy

Of those whose walls have

Fallen before me.

Each day I break a little farther away

From this infernal cage I call life.

I can only meditate and hang onto

My guide, the alternative, unending strife.

Unceasing trial, pain that creeps

Ever nearer closer than my breath;

The alternatives are these facing me

At alarming, stunning depth.

Moments of peace, more precious than any jewel

Or metal, frequenting my soul.

Never have I lived before these, rules

Still cloud my dying, decaying mind. Whole

Scenarios of my former way, playing

Like grainy stripped movies, while

On the outside, only weighing.