Exhorting

It started when I was younger when I use to do great things.

And I didn’t get rewarded even though I accepted all the family brings.

I learned to write in cursive to forge my dads signature just to get through elementary school.

I know it was wrong but I was a clever fool.

If I did something bad it was expected.

But I thought at least I would feel accepted.

When i was a teen I was told I’d be like my mother.

And no one paid attention .

Not a little praise or mention.

When they thought I was promiscuous and sneaky .

They didn’t look at me freaky .

But that was an abuse story that I refused to be leaky .

I babysit and wrote poetry .

But no one cared about my voice then,

So why should I share my story.

Time went by and I’ve got the hang of life.

Cooking for my family,

Teased for being a mini housewife.

I went to school and tried ti make good grades.

I was struggle mentally from all the verbal degrades.

By the time I got my first job I didn’t look back.

No one praised me then ,but their hands were out faster than cars on a race track .

Then I lost my job and their hands fell.

I’ve hit rock bottom and I began to dwell.

Later that year I got a new job and I got my independence again.

I was so veils with joy but here comes the hands again.

I got my first apartment and I was doing so well.

But only one person was happy for me and I don’t know if I could really tell.

I write killer poetry and adulting.

All I get is praise from being like my mother or just adjusting .

For many years I just wish I could get a “keep up the good work” “I’m proud of you”you’re doing a great job.

My tears are burning my 25yr old cheeks as I sob.

Am I not worthy or great things?

Why does God or people give it to others but not me.

And it fucking stings .

I’m sitting here crying like a poor kid for acceptance from a world who would care less.

But a wise person told me you’re not here to impress.

You’re your own motivation and you should have ambition for yourself.

Even if you’re a small book in life on 5 story world bookshelf .

I don’t think it was good how I was raised

But you can do all the good in the world and never get accepted or praised.