even through the pain

Verse 1

in our carriage, we rode back home to lilium

with horses trotting and neighing

the world was silent and violent that day

blood spilled, bodies on bodies, splayed

across the town like scarlet ornaments laid

maria, the queen who had left them

lifeless and bleeding across the terrain

stared out at the slaughtered

with nothing to say

Verse 2

kamakuta village, the name of the place

they’d hated us for past grievances, raised

their swords against us, and they had all paid

the price—they were gone, not a single child saved

not a single soldier left from out of the grave

that their home had become the night

maria stood face to face with the people

who wanted to kill us

the moment she’d drawn her sword, it was too late

Verse 3

you did what you had to, even through the pain

the words that i gave her were taken in vain

the look that she gave me, the hatred that reigned

in her eyes then was something i can’t quite explain

i knew what this meant for her future; the fame

she once received for being a powerful warrior queen with a good heart

would now have a taint, and the world would be

rewritten without restraint for the actions

she had taken here on this day

Verse 4

cold and imposing in ways she had never been

upon her throne, her eyes empty and vacant

of any emotion or inkling of pain

the people of lilium crescent could not seem to face

that the leader they loved had returned as a beast

as a monster of sorts, as a demon who claimed

the lives of so many in horrific ways—

yet nothing about her

appeared to be phased

Verse 5

but i saw her cry

in her room in the days that had followed

when no one was near but myself

i had to see how much help

she needed to live, to get through the present

to not take her own life; she acted incessant in her strives to do it

don’t act like a peasant

i told her, my words harsh but needed

you’re queen of the crescent

Verse 8

does it haunt you? i asked

of course, she replied

does it kill you?

it will not

are you sorry?

i cannot be

are you happy? i pressed

i was never fated to be, she said

and i believed her

Verse 9

her fingers on my trembling lips

she smiled and said

you’re mine, just as the world is

and what kind of world is that? i replied

her smile turned icy

her eyes

Verse 26

enemies swarming my people from all angles

i dropped to my knees

and felt tired, so tired my arms ached

with the weight of my own sword

it was then i decided

to put it all to rest

Verse 27

they will kill you if you don’t fight back

a voice in my head on my very last day

as i placed my sword in the dirt and the blade

glinted in the sun like something goddess-made

bright and immense, yet deathly all the same

let them take me to you then, i thought

all of a sudden i felt her, a hand on the plane

of my back, pushing me forward, saying,

do what you have to, even through the pain

-

Someone was hosting an unofficial challenge for a 27 verse structure-based poem—does anyone remember who it was? I thought the challenge was such a fascinating idea, but I couldn’t find the original post or author.

To whomever it was, I’m sorry I never got to enter and your idea was amazing!

Anyway, this has been sitting in my drafts for a long time. No idea where I was going with this, so I never finished it, but I thought I might as well post it instead of delete it.

I also am forcing myself to post this to challenge myself to accept that writing I consider “bad”, due to being unfinished or otherwise, is still my own, and all writing should be shared without shame.

Thanks for reading! ♥️