Enviable

I wonder when this life will feel like more than a temporary place ,

When my soul will finally give way become one with the cosmos of space ,

I ponder the way the sun rises and sets each day ,

I think it's noble how no matter the changes the sky will always stay ,

And I wish to live that way ,

I try hard to not think about the enviable ,

To be a finite person in an infinite universe feels like beautiful curse ,

The world around you will live long on after you're gone,

Which means it doesn't matter what you've done wrong ,

because someday there's gonna be no one to remember it anyway ,

My minds a supernova ,

My heart's a Galaxy ,

Empathy as gravity ,

My feelings are landmines ,

Exploding into panic and worry ,

Attempting to consume me ,

I'm lost in the vacuum of my own space ,

I try to chase down ambition ,

Try to track down happiness like it was my mission,

Sometimes I gotta cut myself just to know I can still bleed ,

I've got caged up demons in my head I gotta feed ,

My mouth is a lion roaring its last dying meow out ,

It is a body that can no longer shout ,

I float into my inevitability ,

Drowning in my thoughts lost in a black infinity,