Dust

Dust heavy on the shelves,

my heart all the same,

though I’d really want,

there’s no one else

to blame for the fate I carry

in my pancreas

and throat.

I spit at the thought

of you for leaving me to deal

with consequences

never planned for me.

/

Yeah, I promised I’d do anything,

anything at all,

but...

you see...

words were easy,

asked no effort.

simple

shrug of shoulders—lies.

/

lieslieslies

/

lies greasy slid off the tongue easily

made you smile.

/

I was supposed to be immortal

above sin.

But I squandered the promises

you had faith in.

What happened? You changed.

Why?

Your vision cleared.

I’d feared the day

you'd pound the final nail in my coffin.

And then it came.

You saw right in me,

I’d been lazy,

masked it thin.

/

Everything unraveled,

collapsed.

You looked through me.

Cold.

Didn’t care about my cries.

Bold. Loud. Desperate.

The silence in your eyes,

desert-dry,

screeched louder than the scream

that escaped behind my teeth,

when I knew this time it’s real.

/

When I knew

this time it’s real.

/

When

I

knew

the dust is mine.

Mine alone to clean.