Drowning

drowning

laying face up, steadily sinking

in this blue, subtle body of water

pondering gracefully among my thoughts

I wish I were not my mother's daughter

so horizontally still, frozen is the seawater

dark thoughts consumed the thick white clouds

nostalgia of hell itself, largely avowed

suddenly a cessation of oxygen, no inhale

g r a d u a l l y

slipping into the sea of harmony

running from my life, every night was a challenge

my life was so chaotic and unbalanced

trying to live day to day, micromanaged

ending my life, ill and deeply damaged

drowning in the sea of freedom and lavish

extremely painful, not full of comfort

I should now be much tougher

but that woman genuinely made me suffer

imagine a child, smoking crack with their mother

it is a ghastly feeling like no other

it burns hotter than sulpher

I found her years later, what was I thinking

colossal mistake, I thought the memories had faded

invading my life, feeling so jaded

memories cutting like blades, water inundated

exquisite pain, crusade back once again.

—h.b. Woods