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The pain never actually leaves.

It may ebb and flow. Some days it’s just a faint, dull ache.

Others;

A volcano erupting, causing all life around it to perish.

I went through parts of life believing that life had perished. That nothing was worth it anymore.

To be stripped of such innocence so young, by someone that was meant to

well, not.

I was a child for fuck’s sake.

The guilt followed me. Everywhere. Anywhere.

The same guilt that follows us after rejecting someone that gets a bit too close on the dance floor.

The same guilt that you felt when your high school teacher made a comment about how your outfit made the boys uncomfortable.

The same guilt that torments me to this day

guilt that you will never feel

because you were not held against your will and made to kneel, until you screamed so loud your ears bled.

Only to realise you’ve gone numb instead

warm breath in my lungs, smothered by your greed.

The pain never leaves.

It grows with you. For better or worse.