Down To The Bullet: An Unforeseen Killer

Dear dream journal,

I died last night. I was shot straight in the heart and it didn’t even hurt. My body was just, numb. The bullet came at me in slow motion. This shiny, silver object gliding toward me, moving gently yet swiftly across the air. It moved so slow that it seemed as if it would never reach me. I had plenty of time to dodge it, but part of me didn’t want to. Maybe I deserved it. Would I be better off dead then living, continuing to hurt the ones I love? Has my life become too much to bear?

Then at that moment I knew the answer…yes. So I just stood there and waited. Not scared, not helpless, just…empty. Time, in my dream, maintained it’s leisurely pace. The bullet, so close I could slightly feel the wind as it whipped past, and yet it still felt so far away. “Just hit me already so I can get this over with,” was the only present thought in my mind. But then, for the first time, I looked in the direction of my killer, but only to see just a faint outline of a figure holding a gun. It was pitch black. Too vague to know who really lied behind the darkness. Only one tall streetlamp illuminated the scene. It’s light beaming down on the gun’s bullet, still moving at the same speed, going in the same direction. I closed my eyes. Was this it? Was this the end? Or would I be standing here forever, waiting for it to come? I thought of all the people that would miss me if I died. My mother, my father, my brother, all my friends. Or am I just fooling myself? Why should they care? I don’t deserve their sympathy. I don’t deserve to live.

“Hit me” I screamed. “ Just hit me, now.” Then at that very moment as if on command, the bullet rapidly sped forward, like a rocket shooting through space. As the bullet, reaching its target, was about to hit my weak, frozen, body, all the great things about my life flooded into my head. I was wrong. I was not ready to leave this beautiful world, but it was too late. The metal had hit my chest and a piercing pain shot through my entire body. Warm blood trickling down my now icy cold skin. I collapsed to the ground. Barely able to breath. My eyes slowly starting to shut. The end was here. As I took one last look at my surroundings… the earth I would forever leave behind…just before it all turned white…I saw my murderer. Under the bright lamp, she was staring straight at me. My killer, the one that lied, unseen, masked deep within the darkness, was…me.