Don't Fear the Joy

I know you’ve grown used to the night and the dark,

The feeling of loss--it’s black and it’s stark.

The contrast to now—yellow and green,

While so much ahead remains yet to be seen.

That feeling that follows when you try to sleep,

I know that it’s real. It’s frightening and deep.

I say this now not to minimize,

But because of the change. I plead, open your eyes.

The snakes in the bed and webs on the door,

The drips from the ceiling and holes in the floor.

The creaks from the attic, and the bubbling below,

The musty smell, and the gas threatening to grow.

I’ve opened the window, let in some air.

There the light shines, the shadows left bare.

You no longer gasp, your lungs empty and flat.

Your heart, it is beating, with a skit and a scat.

I know you’ve grown used to the night and the dark,

It’s your home. It’s your comfort, your fire and spark.

Fueled by your trauma and left in the noise.

The unspeakable horrors obscured all your joys.

For far too long you’ve been on your own,

Waiting and longing but always alone.

But now…

There is quiet.

Hush. Listen.

Can you hear?

There is silence. Respite and relief.

Hear the wind rustling as it guides down a leaf.

Live here in the day without looking back.

It’s part of you, yes, but a break here gives slack.

A break from the pull and the crush of the leash,

A chance to be in your body and rest up your feet.

Look ahead with positivity, with life and with hope.

I know you’ve been blinded just trying to cope.

The past threatens now to sneak and to tear,

To strike from behind and leave your hands bare.

I will root my feet and plant them for you.

For you now a chance to somehow start new.

What you feel now, I once felt, too.

My soul it was bruised--swollen, black and blue.

But you have got more. Much more to battle.

Stronger beliefs--more stubborn heads to rattle.

Bigger than you think and better than good,

You are the person she would be if she could.

Keep going through that tunnel, to find the other side.

There, the world is open. There are trees far and wide.

The birds there are chirping, there’s grass all around.

The dirt and the gravel only compost, they nourish the ground.

You are not hopeless, worthless or small.

If you keep moving forward, you can have it all.

I pray for you now, as I always will.

To find peace, to belong, and to finally be still.

Don’t fear the joy, my sibling, my dear.

The future is brighter, and Sweetie, so near.