dissolution of first glow

When the glow of first appearance dissolves

Like the melting orange of a setting sun into a clean blue horizon,

All that remains are crumbs.

The dull aftermath of a dazzling introduction into existence.

The sweeping stops, the dust settles and all is still again.

A faint hue remains in the reflection of my portrait,

The deflation of hot air however leaving just a shrivelled shell.

The version of my own being when met with the exhilarating freshness of a new mind

Now also flat.

It’s an image that bounces between two individuals after the duration of acquaintance elongates,

And the faces fall.

New ones appear in their place,

The less dazzling and shiny

So that one by one,

The monotony of knowing wears down the shimmer of newness.

Doors unhinge and cobwebs are released

As the inner emerges into the light.

Life slows gradually into its continuous and reliable rhythm,

Only difference being new feet to trudge along to the beat.

I think

That is what gets me.

The decline of the thrill.

When the heartbeat refrains from quickening and the breath no longer sharply inhales and a zebra is just a bunch of stripes.

Nothing more

Nothing less.

That is where I fail.

I dream of more.

Of a depth and perception of a soul like no other

Where I can dive and dive and continue to sink into the darkest and most thrilling parts of ones being and get lost.

Forever.

Needing to constantly come up for air to inhale the crisp swell of intrigue.

I ask for much.

And cannot settle for less.