Disappointment

Authors Note: I have been working on this for awhile and debated on whether or not I was ready to share it. It's probably my most personal piece of work and I'm sure no one will "feel" it the way I did. It's a little all over the place while I address things that have happened in my life. I know two people are sorry for some of it, but I still felt these things still needed to be said, uninterrupted. The singing is... questionable lol... as I was crying for the majority of the time I was attempting to record it. Maybe one day, I will do it again when I can get through the words without feeling 'em anymore. This song felt like the 'final boss' in healing. I don't think I'm ready to share it beyond my Vocal friends... but I think it's a good step for what's coming next for me.

*Update- 5/13/26* I redid the video and am sharing the new link and updating a few of the lyrics. <3

-Sara

Disappointment-

I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted

you swore I’d crash, said I’d fall the same way

But I never broke like you plotted

never folded like you said I would someday

Being different makes me your disgrace

I stand out like a scar on your face

I’m sorry I’m a disappointment in your life

but I’m a great mama and one hell of a wife

🎀

One lost in their mind, One lost in a bottle

three kids raised by chaos, always stuck on full‑throttle

I was the youngest, but somehow the backbone

forced to carry weight that was never my own

Always told I’d end up just like them

drop out, fall apart, same script, same end

I’d say, “I’m not them,” but you brushed it off again

“They said that too… look how they turned out in the end.”

You didn’t see me. Not really.

Not the kid trying to breathe in a house that felt deadly

You saw a future failure, a replay of your past

not a girl fighting hard just to not come in last

🎀

Jokes about my body like I was public domain

called me fat while I was growing into my feminine frame

Mocked my makeup, my clothes, the things that made me... me

Being “weird” was the worst thing I could ever be

But when I wrote, when I drew, when I sang... suddenly I mattered

not as a person, but a product you could gather

“What can we make from her?” not “What does she need?”

You saw talent as currency, not who I was just what I could be

I’d been grinding for years before you tried to take the lead

only paid attention when you claimed that you planted the seed

I won awards you never noticed, didn’t matter till it fed your pride

funny how the ones who hurt you wanna stand there by your side

🎀

You compare me to a sister who burned her whole life down

told me to be more like her as if her chaos is a crown

I finished school, stayed clean, stayed true,

built a family outta love something foreign to you...

Cuz to you, money matters more than character or truth

so my whole life is worthless next to her “proof”

🎀

I starved myself trying to shrink into your mold

hurt myself quietly, doing what I was told

Ran to someone else who hurt me too

’cause pain felt familiar... it felt like home. Like you

You let a man hit me and didn’t even take a stand

and that moment marked the line I’d never let you cross again

I know you say you're sorry now…

but I needed you to be there then.

And that’s the part I think you can't understand...

how that single moment drew a line in the sand

🎀

Said “no” to my sister once, became useless overnight

after years of giving everything, trying to make things right

To the middle one, I was “ugly,” never worthy to be seen

she always had to be the pretty one the family queen

To you, I’m poor ’cause I didn’t sell my soul for wealth

couldn’t fake a perfect life. I was fighting for my mental health

🎀

But I built a home with love, not fear

My kids will never wonder if they matter here

I broke the cycle you swore I’d repeat

stood up on my own two shaking feet

🎀

I'll just be your disappointment,

cuz you'll never see the fight

You never saw the nights I held myself together

just to make it to the light

Never saw the strength it took

to become someone new

you only see the version of me

that makes sense to you

🎀

I’m sorry I’m not the daughter you wanted

you always said I’d turn out the same way

But I never fell like you plotted

never broke the way you swore I would someday

Being different makes me your disgrace

I stand out like a scar on your face

I’m sorry I’m a disappointment in your life

but I’m a great mama and one hell of a wife

🎀