- am I getting too old to be the thing I want to be am I taking too long to prove I’ve got what it takes at what point do you stop and say, well there you go, that’s just how it’s gonna be… do I pack it in and call it a fucking day? or do I die walking, die trying, meet the grave with a sort of grandeur stamped into the grooves of my frozen face you tell me… what difference does it make if I’m thirty-eight and find myself unsure about what to say when I’m asked what I do at a party or some other bullshit social event… what difference does it make, if you don’t see it, don’t get it, don’t recognize the value in a leap of faith even full-grown men have the right to shoot for the stars that’s not merely a children’s game I will not discourage you, so don’t look at me like that, like you think it’s too damn late… dreaming isn’t for the young, it’s for everyone— don’t tell me yearning is for those who don’t know any better, because you’re wrong! you don’t need to be born after 2002 to be under the impression that this world can ever get any better than this counterfeit stage we’ve turned it into — any life can change at any time! the best years don’t always have to be seen from behind… so do me a favor, and just look away move your haughty gaze to another direction because I don’t care what you think… I like being this way I like seeing the grey it’s a beautiful thing to cruise into maturity, into the abyss of uncertainty with the outlook of a fresh soul… so I don’t know about you but I’ll die trying, I’ll die walking “All great artists are amateurs at heart. Nothing wrong with that at all. You start out as an amateur, work to becoming a pro, then become an amateur all over again.” — Osamu Dazai, The Flowers of Buffoonery Roberto Canessa: “We’re gonna die, you know.” Nando Parrado: “Maybe. But if we die, we’re gonna die walking.” —Alive (1993) Notes: The message here is pretty simple. Don’t give up on your aspirations. If you love it. Don’t stop. No matter what anyone else thinks or says. If you have a goal, if you want to achieve something, it doesn’t matter how long it takes. You’re never too old and it’s never too late. At least not until you’re in the ground. And if you’re a writer, even then you can still have your words make an impact long after you’ve left this world. My favorite part of this poem is the line, “dreaming isn’t for the young—it’s for everyone.” Even if you aren’t accepted. Maybe you’re doing something other people don’t understand. You never know when the game will change. You never know when the years of hard work will confront the perfect opportunity. So until then, you keep walking. You keep writing. You keep sending out those applications. You keep breathing and believing in yourself. And you keep telling the naysayers to go fuck themselves. It’s okay if you can’t see the path forward. Towards the end of the poem I say, “I like being this way, I like seeing the grey.” You’ll be confronted with uncertainty. And just because you’ve reached maturity as an adult, it does not mean you can’t find a way to be comfortable living in the grey. No one can predict the future. So don’t stop or reject yourself for arbitrary reasons. Push forward despite ambiguity. To touch on the quotes that I published alongside this piece. The first is from the Flowers of Buffoonery by Osamu Dazai, and it nicely captures the idea that all professionals were once amateurs. Dazai then takes it another step by saying that the best professionals know that they are still amateurs. And finally, the quote that inspired part of the title. It’s from one of the most remarkable stories of survival and heroism. It’s the concluding dialogue from the end of the movie Alive, where two of the survivors of the Uruguayan Flight 571 plane crash, who were stranded in the Andes mountains for 72 days, were on the verge of giving up. And just as they were nearing collapse, they made the decision to keep fighting. That if they were going to die, they were going to die walking. If you enjoyed this piece, sending a tip would be the best way to show your support. But if you aren’t ready for that sort of commitment yet, you can always like, subscribe amd share my work. Thanks.
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