Death Wish

Is this the only way out?

Every cry for help was a shout

But there wasn't a soul to listen (literally)

Everyone says when they see me they've been meaning to call

What a nice thought, right?

If all those thoughts added up would they be enough to save me from the fall

when I jump?

The silence in this place is killer

The emptiness so vast there wouldn't be enough filler

Even the pen in my hand echoes when it drops

I imagine how great it'd feel to take a breath while standing on the edge

of that ledge

One last sigh

A sigh of relief

The wind in my hair as I'm falling

I'll pretend my phone is ringing because someone's actually calling

But as usual

no one is there to catch me

And I hit concrete

That's what falling in love usually feels like anyway

Only this time that landing won't be so figurative

(Yes, I'm fine. Expressing my feelings through poetry is how I manage even if every second of my existence feels painful.)