Dear Mum, I never told you...
A letter to my Mum
Dear Mum,
I never told you, but...
I often felt alone, ignored.
You had time for my sister and my twin.
You never seemed to have time for me.
You sided with my sister, my bully, and told me not to be a victim
I only remember one time you punished her for abusing me.
I know you love me, but I wonder if you like me.
We struggle to connect, to find things to talk about
I feel like a failure, least successful, least financially stable.
Least loved?
You see my sister and her kids every other week
I have to schedule time around those commitments.
I miss you, but sometimes I don't
You weren't abusive or neglectful, like some mothers
But sometimes I feel like a stranger
An Afterthought
You didn't try to get me diagnosed, saying there was no point
You were probably right, but I wish you'd tried anyway
I needed more help than I had
I love you, but sometimes I wonder if you love me.
If you don't love me, how can I love myself?
Part 1 of 2.
My relationship with my mother is complicated. Her explanation is that I "was always very independent", but part of that was because I felt like an imposition when I asked for help. I have a good relationship with her now, as an adult, but the fact that I'm still talking about these things with my therapist says... more than I want it to.
Since these feelings were getting to be a lot for a single poem, I decided to split it into two.
Part 2 will be the positive. Read it here
If you liked this poem, leave a heart, an insight, or a tip, and check out my other work on Vocal and Medium
About the Creator
Natasja Rose
I've been writing since I learned how, but those have been lost and will never see daylight (I hope).
I'm an Indie Author, with 30+ books published.
I live in Sydney, Australia
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insight
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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