Dear Joy Killjoy,

Dear Joy,

Thank you for finding me. Sometimes it feels like you’re hiding or on the run. Searching for freedom, planning your escape, freely ebbing and flowing amidst the waves of pain. Instead of just existing, standing by my side and breathing within each passing moment…

Why can’t you be obedient and faithful like a fish on the line through the chaos of life? I’m sorry. Maybe it’s me. I’ve distorted things again and misconstrued you. I tend to do that sometimes. Perhaps its my impatience at play. Thinking you’re always teasing and taunting us with your fickle existence and mislaid absence. Your veiled presence is open to each psyche's interpretation. Creating uncertain territory and unsteady minds. Call it a surprise.

Thank you for reminding me your intention isn’t to elude pleasant emotions. But to whisper and transmute worries away into art and poetry.

Let’s start anew. Paint the world in color and music. Like tuning an untouched piano. May love wash over everything. Baptizing the universe in vibrancy and sound. Penetrating my bones and renovating my spirit with new frequencies and higher waves.

“Have you ever heard of the book Happy For No Reason,” a stranger once asked me. "It's by the same author who wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul." His eyes carried the same melancholia for self-help literature and yoga, so I noted the suggestion and took it all in. He had kind eyes. His soul was pure, his skin was hairy and covered in sweat from the warm vapor arising from the scolding water. I made sure not to sit too close as we soaked in steam and philosophy in the sauna under the sunshine. Experiencing the art of conversation, blossoming friendships, balancing boundaries, bonding and marinating in a beautiful moment. The pandemic fueled our magnetic hearts for connection, intimacy and spirituality. Naturally... we're humans seeking love and transcendence. Water was merely a conductor for electrical thoughts becoming conscious in the flesh.

I’ll try to remember you always exist. In all realms of being. This distorted perspective can shift. Coming in and out of life. Aloof like the rising sun. Temporal, constant, bounded by true potentiality.

You’re not a fleeting guest, you’re always here. Inside me. In made-up memories I imagined when you weren’t there. In present moments where I enjoy you as you are. In past happenstances I bask in for peace. In the current. In this field. In everything.

Can we take it slow this time? I want to savor every moment with you…

Sincerely,

Baptized & Sometimes Misconstrued

PS There are many songs written about you. This one embraces gratitude. Hope you like it.