Dear Diary

I've got my pen in my hand

Ready to pick up where I left off

Hoping this will be an entry worth noting

I'm staring down this blank sheet and asking myself what could possibly be new

How's my life changed from when I was last here

I've got nothing to share or do I?

Let me try in the next few sentences to explain, see if you can understand why I pen these thoughts

If you can follow my life from where we were to where I am now

There's a path I'm looking at

A road I traveled to get where I am and it makes no sense to me how I got here

A part of me believes I blinked and look

Here I am

I wonder about my life, dear Diary, and whether I can proudly say I did it

Can I tell myself it's okay to be where I am?

Can my present self appreciate my past self for the decisions she made?

Can my future self accept that the path I chose led to my present state and could possibly invariably contribute to where I end up some years to come?

I sit here wondering to myself

And a part of me shudders at the thought

What if I could have traveled a different path?

What if I could have made a second choice

Looking back, I can remember I met a crossroad

I think back and realize, I could have considered the decision much farther than I did

This feels like I am drowning

Sinking in my own thoughts; no support for me

I am failing myself and I don't know how to get back on the road

Did I take the right turn or do I live with learning where this path leads?