Dear 1986

Dear 1986,

Honestly, I thought I was done with you! You have caused me so many tears, so many years. Years filled with doubt, suspicion, fear and worry. At fourteen, you made my life hurry. I should have listened to those very few voices. The ones who said time answers all ills. But, then oh didn't he give me the chills! The chills, you remember the kind? "Virginal shakes" , I still call it everytime a new relationship gets too close to opening my heart, til it breaks.

I"m sorry that all that would listen, after the fact, turned on you just like the attack. It changed me, perspectives of the whole world, NOT my optimism though, on that my God has helped me with his strong hold.

The year seems insane. This now... grannie, never has married- never has trusted that much. Ive given enough to secure my heart enough love to carry my soul until Heaven is ready for me. My children are my blessings and my soul purpouse for living. My God knows it's a struggle, to be diagnosed with some mental health disorders, simply to deal with the fact he was older. However, when I see one of my kids or my grandkids ... its all about the snuggle.

So even though, 1986 you were an evil bitch and damaged my entire life, I wanted you to know , at 51 I am no longer willing to live under your knife.

Sincerely,

Finally Free 2023