Dealing in Shadow

Sifting through the wreckage,

digging through my past.

Trying to unearth memories,

but they’re ethereal and don’t last.

Oscillating between knowing

and locking them away,

I search for my true being,

though she may not stay.

The Shadows of my trauma

are sharp and dark and cruel.

But Light shines just as brightly,

making me feel ever the fool.

I cannot decide if I want to know,

and cling to things long gone,

or forget everything that’s hurt me,

and never be able to move on.

Loves and traumas both

exist in Light and Dark,

But I do not need them.

They will only break my heart.

I may be lost without

knowing all that was there,

but if I can somehow

move forward,

I think I might be spared.

Will I again

be locked away?

And if I do,

Can I move on?

What is there to me-

when my memories are gone?