Darkness

I remember at one point in time,

The slightest shadow would frighten me.

As a child I found myself cowering before the presence of darkness,

Begging for some form of evanescent luminescence.

I clung onto light more so than I did anything then.

Now as an adult,

I find myself bias toward the darkness,

And in more ways than one.

When I say I prefer the darkness,

I don't just mean that I prefer the absence of illumination,

I mean that I prefer the dark parts of everything.

I wish I meant that I only desired for there to be no luster in my presence,

No gleam, radiance or anything in-between.

I desire the dark parts of the soul,

I seek the utter chaos that lies within every calm quintessence.

I crave the scar that's left dormant on an aching heart.

I covet the sorrowful sigh of a disheartened individual.

As a child,

I would have been scared of the things you have made me feel,

The things you have left me yearning for,

But I am not that anymore,

and now more so than ever,

I long for it.