Dark

I feel something growing deep within me

Encroaching towards everything that once made me happy

Always thinking about the negatives in every situation

To the point where I can't control it, it has become an addiction

They said light comes at the end of the tunnel

But what if my tunnel is just single open-ended?

What if happiness doesn't show up and I am comforted by sorrow?

I wish I could pay to be happy but I cant afford it either though

I don't know if it's the darkness that has kept me alive thus far

Have I given it a seat in my heart with no strings attached?

Now I can barely even sleep without having nightmares in between

Sometimes waking up in tears saying " oh God , are you even listening?"

I try every time to leave but I still see myself in this same battle field

I am tired of asking for a sign because even if I see it , I don't seem to yield

Then I resort to drinking , not much to get drunk but enough to hang onto memories

Maybe reminisce the good days and my mistakes that led to where I am mentally

Empathy is still there but barely

numb to emotions, threading carefully

feeling like everyone close to me is drunk on pretence

Oh what I would give to be refunded my innocence

The darkness just keeps getting darker

But I am still fighting while low on energy in my might

If there is hope, let it find me faster

I mean the darker the darkness, the brighter the light , right?