Cryogenically Surprised

there's a girl in my fridge

i don’t know how she got there

wedged in next to an old lettuce

a flat bottle of coke

and some out of date pita bread

now i have no room

for half the pizza left over

from dinner

i look around the room

for a covert film crew

you know

like one of those horrendous

practical joke shows

i mean come on...

...who puts a girl in a fridge

last week there was a poodle

in my pantry

unexpected yes

but not entirely

impossible

or outside

the realms

of possibility

pantry poodling

is huge

all the cool kids

are doing it

i check for a pulse

faint but steady

maybe she got lost

or fell

and somehow

landed in my fridge

so

i have a girl

asleep or possibly comatose

in my fridge

i click my fingers

i yell

"HEY YOU IN MY FRIDGE!"

nothing

not a peep

she is still

in my fridge

i'm a bit miffed really

she is in the way

of the pastrami

i saw gonna have

for lunch

so now

it's bloody vegemite again