Crying in public

Like the tightening grip of Fear's fist in your chest when you lean over a towering building,

I am afraid to cry to you.

Like walking on a thin metal wire, feet desperate for stable ground as gravity shakes you,

I am afraid to lose you.

When your face is blank, devoid of emotion, and I don't see your love just as you no longer see me,

I am afraid to love you.

I am afraid to pull my hair and lose my mind, because you will fear me as I fear everything,

And maybe you already do.

I find more comfort in crying to strangers as they pass me in their cars, and never see me again,

Because I know they're not you.

Crying in the openness feels less alone than crying in my room, because even though the world sees me,

That sight is not for you.

They will never be afraid as they think, "Oh that was strange." and go about their day,

As my eyes start to pool.

And I will feel safe in my open display of my crumbling mind because my mind can craft their thoughts,

And they'll never have a clue.

Because they're image of me can never be warped, if they've only ever seen me once,

A crying girl who's blue.

But you, who's seen me everyday, who dared to love a broken girl, still so blissfully unaware of her tears,

An image true to you.

Now, you've seen my shadows and my darkness, now, you see I am not perfect, do you fear it?

I wish I hadn't shown you.