CRUELTY FROM CHILDHOOD

CRUELTY FROM CHILDHOOD

The cruelty started when she was young
with words that cut deeper than skin
they told her she never was good enough
and made her believe she was wrong within

A child should never know hatred
or learn how to live with fear
but nobody cared what they gave her
or noticed the damage each year

She learned to stay quiet and listen
to footsteps that came down the hall
she knew by the sound of a doorway
whether she should hide or stand tall

The words became part of her thinking
long after the voices had gone
you’ll never be loved, you’ll never be wanted
and somehow she carried them on

She grew but the memories followed
they waited wherever she went
a childhood filled up with cruelty
had left her completely unspent

She learned how to smile when she wasn’t
she learned how to say she was fine
while underneath all of the pretending
the darkness was eating her mind

Nobody could see what was happening
because the scars weren’t there to see
but every cruel word from her childhood
had taken another piece of me

She tried to forget what had happened
she tried to forgive and move on
but memories don’t listen to reason
they stay when you wish they were gone

A raised voice could bring it all back
a slammed door could turn night to fear
and suddenly she was that child again
back in the place she had hated for years

She couldn’t explain why she struggled
why kindness could frighten her too
when you’ve been hurt by the people you trust
you don’t know what kindness will do

She built up a wall around herself
and kept everybody away
because letting somebody get closer
meant giving them something to betray

They called her difficult, bitter and cold
they never once looked underneath
there was still a frightened child in her
who had forgotten how to breathe

The mental cruelty from childhood
had followed her all of her life
it lived in the back of her mind
like a blade that was held by a knife

And no matter how old she became
the little girl never let go
she carried the weight of her childhood
wherever she happened to go

Some wounds don’t bleed in the open
some scars don’t appear on the skin
and some of the cruelest of battles
are fought where nobody’s been

The child had survived what they gave her
but surviving had come with a cost
because sometimes you live through the horror
and still feel like something was lost

The mental cruelty from childhood
had followed her into the night
and even when nobody hurt her
she still couldn’t feel she was right

For words can become your own prison
when you’ve heard them enough to believe
and the child who was told she was worthless
can spend a lifetime trying to leave

But the past doesn’t always release you
just because you have grown old
sometimes the child stays inside you
still frightened, still hurt, still cold

And that is the cruelest of endings
when childhood refuses to go
you can escape from the people who hurt you
but not from the wounds that they sowed