Crashing

I don't want to come crashing down,

With every breath I breathe,

I don't want to lose my ground,

Or question my every belief,

There are things I want to do,

Like laugh without a care,

But then I am reminded of the burdens I ought to bear,

Ironically, I am my own reminder,

Every time I overthink,

I remind myself of the darkness,

That I unwillingly, willingly seek,

I know of the light and love,

I know there's good here, too at least,

But my darkness feeds on them like a greedy beast,

It feasts on my pleasures and thanks me for every meal,

It caresses my dying embers while blowing wind through the seams,

How paradoxical, I think to myself, my mind my friendliest nemesis,

Who hugs me in cold arms and sucks out my peace,

I do not wish to feel this chaos,

But it's not like I have a choice,

This is a prison of my own making,

There is no getting out.