Complicated Head

You took pride in knowing me ,

Spent years studying the map of my brain .

You believed knowing me was a prize

Like I was a puzzle to be sorted out and put together.

What you never understood, my love, is that my mind is ever changing. If you think for a minute you’ve got me down to a science, think again, Because I’m already a different person than I was when this sentence began.

My nature is to change.

I am fickle, capricious .

Never the same person two days in a row .

The complicated head you lived in years ago no longer exists .

The house we grew up in…

It’s been renovated and remodeled countless times since you moved out

Because I loved you,

I let you believe you were in.

I gave you the key

To what you wanted to see

And that was enough for you.

I didn’t let you into every room.

There were corners too dark,

And things I didn’t understand,

Doors to nowhere and windowless rooms,

And some yet to be built.

The floor plan you carry in your pocket today

Of the house you used to live in

Is flawed,

So flawed .

But that’s the beauty of building -

Allowing changes and updates

Fixes and solutions .

Sure, the cracks in my foundation will always be a part of me

But that doesn’t mean I won’t fill them

And if the fill doesn’t work ,

I’ll plant a rose bush to make them look pretty

Because we both know cracks show character

And we both know I’m bursting at the seams

I’m sorry you didn’t keep in touch to receive updates

And you still carry an old plan with you

Thinking that’s the final form.

I heard the biggest mistake a person can make is believing they are complete.

I’m sorry nobody is home when you show up at my door

It’s just, you don’t live there anymore.