Colors of Me

Born into this world

My canvas was

White and pure like many others

Only to be tinted another

Through slow knowledge and treatment from others

So thus yellow was delicately painted upon the blank canvas

Blinding and beaming

Something so unreal

Yet so equally appealing

But as time went on

And my very essence grew

There leaked another unto my canvas

Yellow to green

A change even I

A mere child could see

The feeling it left were obvious and plenty

From the greed of worldly possessions

To the envy that eerily brewed

To the love of the domain which claimed all that resided

And those that had gone and came

Through new senasations

New expirences

New knowledge and desires

Trials and pain

Caused another splatter of color

Thus buried green under blue

Melancholy and tears

Fears and isolation

Loneliness and internal pain

Yet compassion

While muted

Somehow mournfully remained

Blue perpetually became a constant

While once upon a time

It encased the essence of my canvas

Now however it stayed splayed around the edges

Forever it shall remain

Not long after however

The seige of red came

Red had rapidly spilt forward

And while it emerged as easily as it fled

By the passions felt

The love used

The anger spawned

And lust that manifested

It was truly reckless

Borderline pointless

And not everlasting

Yet omething that had been easily amassing

But ironically quickly in passing

Even so the strongest feelings it had  invoked

The most memorable memories engraved into the mind and being of my canvas

Yes Red had spilled and splattered about

Leaving it's mark

But eventually

Despite force of will

Even it was not to last

For black emerged and plunged the entirety of my canvas into an abyss

One that could not be seen

Yet still not be missed

Colors blocked out and seemingly erased

Emptiness surrounding

Encasing everything

Leaving not one single trace

Of what had been and of what was

It blanketed the canvas into a nothingness so deep

It was a truly terrifying thing to even think

Let alone be

As there was truly nothing to feel

Truly nothing to hear

Truly nothing to see

Black was truly nothing more than a numbness so unreal

That it could not be penetrated

Or erased

Or seemingly eased

Truly a miracle it had to be

For brown to emerge in a swirl of colors poured oh so steadily

Through much time and patience

It could eventually be seen

As peace and acceptance was attained

Where no one pain or joy ruled

Where compassion did not equal naivety

And steadfast did not equal cruel

Where love did not equal pain

And tears did not equal sorrow

The canvas internal make-up became mixed

An ever-changing canvas it truly was

Made by the many strokes of life

The accidental spills and splatters from myself and others

The unknowing mothers and fathers that flicked colors unwittingly unto my very canvas

So it should go without saying

That still hidden under the countless of colors given to me

That only my eyes can see

Is a mural of my very own being

My existence

A beautifully

Remarkable

Monotonous 

Travesty

Of all that has ever

And forever will make up me