Coffee

I started drinking coffee because I was tired.

Isn’t that why everyone does it?

I was a teen on the bus in the city sitting holding my lids up with anxiety as my phantom adhesives

There’s weirdos out here I have to at least look like I’m not sleeping.

Go to bed early they say

Put your alarm on the other side of the room they say

Count sheep they say

Drink tea they say

Think happy thoughts they say

As I lie away in my bed at 1am while the little track star runs laps around my head.

To be tired but not

To be motivated but distraught

Is the curse of living that made my eyes wide in the night and shut in the day

So, I watched all the other city zombies and drink coffee they say.

So, I drunk up small

Drunk up medium

Drunk up large

Drunk up two

Drunk up 3

It got to the point where the lady at Dunkin Donuts knows my order before I walk in.

It lasted the whole day

Then lasted 6 hours

Then 2

Then 1

Drink up drink up your work isn’t done.

1 essay drink one

2 essays drink two

3 pages of math drink four

Drink and be a zombie on steroids

Doesn’t matter if its 8am or 1am

I have work to do so I embrace the caffeine and let it settle in.

My track star runs races in my head but the more I drink the coffee the more the feet pound on my head.

I step away track star gets louder

I step away the track star gets sadder

Track star needs caffeine so she can run.

I pour my 7th cup of coffee.

What have I done?

I love my coffee it keeps me going

It’s not like I’m a crackhead everyone’s an addict.

Has this become so normalized that we made being zombies a habit?

Rush to work at 8 then rush to class at seven grab another extra-large coffee at seven eleven. Its only a dollar drink up they say. It is normal everyone does that today.

I love coffee

Coffee is good

Although it makes me jumpy that’s all I can do I sit at my computer at 3am

Sleep who? I don’t remember them.

That’s not healthy the doctor said so in response I said

I’m sorry I know Coffee is my enemy but it’s also my best friend.

And everyone does it. To be alive enough to live but still sleep deprived enough to be damn near dead.