“Cigarettes”

“Cigarettes”

My mom was a socialite,

Always trying to aspire.

Never hearing my weak plight

A woman to always admire

Her intentions from the heart

Were only for my happiness.

Different language from the start

Wishing now we could digress.

Upon that day, you asked me,

To hang out with new crowds,

Repeatedly I said with plea,

I’ll be swallowed in their shrouds.

I listened to your words that day.

And to the back I strolled.

A situation to survey,

Trying to act controlled.

“Take a sip, here’s a drink!”

No one will ever know.

Then next came smoky stink.

“We’re taking you below!“

With that first puff, I gagging cough,

No one else had made a sound.

A new friend, damn! I got off!

Maybe now I can rebound!

I snuck away from school next day

Ralph’s was the goal in mind,

Another puff sending pain away,

Filters with the tar enshrined.

But what seemed good, way back when,

Has now become my curse.

Wishing to have been stronger then,

Time no longer will reimburse.

You became my safety-net

Whisps to the skies confide,

A screen put up for every threat.

In youth, had taken pride.

Our friendship now, taking toll

Your lies are now well known.

Not popular, but still enrolled

Your suggestions, I was prone.

Into the years, I have tried to leave

But you clutch and pull me back

An empty promise in reprieve

Old habits I will crack!

Now the past, surging up again.

Dealing with those I do despise.

Learning how to make them kin.

Despite all of the lies.

So simple now to run for you.

More trauma upon me.

Damage one day, hope to undo.

No more in slavery.

Charli Richey

March, 2021