Cashmere

Today I cried 27 times

Once for all of the different categories of my life

I’m convinced I’m failing at

Please don’t correct my grammar

at which I’m failing..?

28 times

As it turns out

one of the many things I’ve been avoiding

is of course

the very thing I needed

and the most comforting thing

I could have ever asked for

My literal lifeline

My hypothetical coffee and cashmere

It wasn’t my favorite candle that makes the wood crackle sound

It wasn’t binge-watching my favorite murder show

in the comfort of my own home

It wasn’t even positive affirmations

or lavender oil

It was asking for help

cringe.

when I least wanted to

God -

I didn’t want to.

and being met with

compassion

It was tentatively reaching out a hand

in the dead, cold dark

and being met with

another hand

Isn't it funny how

being held by a steady gaze

in the ugliest moments

when you don't feel worthy enough

of being seen

is far more cashmere

than cashmere itself?