But Summer is Near - Rewrite
A response to my tenth piece on vocal.
After a suggestion by Mike on Vocal Social Society Facebook Group (links at bottom) I shared my tenth piece, But Summer is Near, published on Vocal. Here is the original:
But Summer is Near
Part One
he opened his pocket
and spread out the sun
from his big window
he moved and pressed
the reflection from clouds
and the wind into the chimney
Part Two
the land lurches
moving mirror cold
smooth without seam
strip the branches
ripple and quaked
Smoke curled about
bleach of heat
to summer stars
And my revisited rewite:
But Summer is Near
He opened his pocket
and spread out the sun
he moved, and pressed
the reflection from clouds
as the land lurched
smooth without seam
but summer is near.
About the Creator
Alyson Smith
Neurodivergent, working-class writer and artist diagnosed with Bipolar. Based in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. MA in Creative Writing. Currently waitressing while finishing my novel.
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