bullsh~tting

grab me by the horns and shove me into the arena

i am not your gladiator, and yet the flashes of red you tease me with make me snort and brace to charge

i thought i'd have control, but there's something about you

something about all of this that makes me howl in rage at the way it always ends

my horns pierce you,

i bring the red this time.

you cannot stop it, it's hilarious.

i am not a bull for you to control and yet...

at least the bull is seen

at least she is fed and cleaned and treated as a prize saved from a worse fate

the gladiators in the ring know their end is near when she bows her head and roars to the sky gods

the audience watching distantly doesn't realise that the dust in the air is radioactive with my own demons.

your spears and squeals of petty anger brush my coat and make it shine with the deep dark pride of a queen

so i will remain here at the epicenter of the arena awaiting the next coward shoved to my shadow

i will stomp my feet and end them

since you'd never let me slip below that.

~